Beverly's Blog

Last night, we hosted our small group at our home. Yesterday afternoon, our two year old came down with a virus that gave her aches and a high fever. We tried to call and cancel/reshuffle the meeting place, so that others were not exposed, but we couldn't connect with the right person at the right time, so we just went ahead.

It was hard. Getting ready, mopping, straightening, etc., with my little girl trying to be brave, but feeling awful. We rock our babies at our house, and that is what I wanted to do, and I did in fact, give up on the kitchen floor.

As hard as it was, we were extremely blessed in the end. When people arrived, they were concerned, pitched in with last minute details, and allowed me rock my baby girl, offering to get me drinks, food, etc. At one moment, when I was debating about what to do, I asked everyone/no one in particular, if she felt hot to them. All at the same moment, three loving hands reached out to feel her warm skin. (The consensus was she was warmer than our thermometer was reading).

What a blessing to be part of a warm, loving community. I realize that a fever is "nothing" compared to what some have recently endured with their kids at our church, but at that moment, it was a little alarming, and very comforting to be surrounded with others who cared about us and her. I think it was very much like what Jesus intended.

The girls are sick. Again. I really don't mean to complain. We are not the only family in Abilene to be playing "hot potato" with the viruses this season. And, this too will pass. Before we know it, we'll be comforting long distance...the girls in college, or married, and it will hurt my heart to not be able to be there for them.

As I cleaned the house the other day, though, I was reminded of the simple truth of the gospel.

The rag I grabbed to clean the high chair tray had been used to clean the counter. The counter of course had multiple things on it, germs included. I choose to trust my cleaning products to kill all those nasty things. However, I once watched Oprah. Her guests that day were scientists with those little scrapers and petri dishes. The nasty things they found in various places was enough to make me a just a little paranoid, not to mention, grossed out! Sometimes, ignorance is bliss!

What I despaired of at that moment was my ability to ever have our home truly clean! Unless I stop changing diapers, wiping noses, and hugging and kissing my girls, there is no way I can truly be germ free. So, I had to resign myself that we will have to live with germs and do our best.

I would love to hear a biologist fill in the gaps here....about how the germs and viruses interact with healthy cells and somehow make us stronger (strengthen our immunity). As is always the case, the closer we look at God's design, the more amazing it is, and the more we can learn.

But, not being a biologist, I will move onto gratitude. What I felt I needed that day in my home, Jesus HAS done for us spiritually! I am grateful that Jesus came to earth and lived His life in purity, chose the cross, and was raised again, so that I can receive cleansing of my dirt and sin. I am grateful beyond words that God will look at Jesus, not me, when the question comes : am I clean enough, uncontaminated enough, to be allowed into His kindgom or not?

And, as well as grateful, I am amazed and touched by Jesus' love and sinless life. He chose to come, be with us--among the germs (did Jesus ever have a cold???) , hugging, touching, interacting, and never once became "contanimated" in any way that would make His sacrifice for our lives impure. That is love and strength and Jesus-God, in One.

Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Last night I searched a popular website for a book. The title, Sleeping with Bread, was recommended to me by a friend. We had both been in a class at church which focused on spiritual formation in children. One of the things she had implemented with her kids was ending the day with questions, i.e., what made you happy (or sad) today, then praying with them about the ensuing discussion. The point is helping us to see God at work in our everyday lives.

Since the class, I have done the same thing with my 2 year old. Though she is not very verbal yet, I have been blessed by her responses: "What made you happy today that we should tell God thank you for?" "Daddy!" "Bee" (her little sister), or "Woo-Woo's" (our puppies...they bark: woo, woo, woo--probably much to some of our neighbors' chagrin, I am afraid. Fortunately, there are severl woo-woo's in our neighborhood!) Or, "what made you feel sad?" "Hit."

The book is on the popular book site (starts with an A...). The excerpt I read made the process of discussion make even more sense. I look forward to getting it.

Lord, help ME and my children practice seeing you in everyday life.

Last night my husband read my first two blogs, then apologized for me having to be a stay at home mom. He, of all people, should know that is NOT what I meant, smile. So, in case there is any confusion: I LOVE be a stay-at-home mom, and I plead with God that it will not have to change!

Yesterday held one of those comical moments that should be on a commercial. A friend of mine...my BSF leader....called. It was a call she made just because she is sweet, and as we talked, I watched my 2 year old, who was well out of reach, pour her dish of corn over her head. Then she shook the remains onto the floor, just to make sure her bowl was empty I guess. (Who really knows the musings of a 2 year old?) A few minutes later, she found a stick (she is not allowed to play with) and proceeded to drum on the door. But, did I stop my conversation? NO! Smile! No one was in danger, and the floor needed cleaned anyway. The call was a bright spot in my day! There are just some things I am not willing to sacrifice unless blood is involved (smile). Thanks, Laura!

Tonight I go to my art lesson. I am an artist "wannabe", and still need my teacher to tweak those spots that just aren't right. I am reminded of the old song, The Touch of the Master's Hand. It is amazing what the Master can turn a feeble attempt into....how something just "so-so" can be turned into something quite stunning with just a few strokes of her hand. The spiritual application relates back to yesterday's blog....Do something for the Master, and allow Him to make it beautiful!

Today I watched my girls play with the many gifts people have given them. Books, balls, puzzles. There are so many things, it is hard to keep the individual items distinct. As well, at their ages of 1 and 2, they developmentally just go one to the other, often and literally tossing one aside for the other. As I think of the gift-giver, I am sometimes frustrated. I want to keep us clutter free enough that each gift is seen, touched, pondered, and enjoyed. I.E. Used! That would be good for our gratitude as well as fulfilling the hopes of those who shared with us.

I realize the solution is to rotate toys, organize, etc., But I am more concerned as I think about the application of that to my own life. As a mom of 2, how many gifts God has given me end up lost in the chaos? That applies in general, from the sunsets and birds outside (which in Abilene this year has a special meaning, with our mass of crows migrating to South America) to the gift of my husband.

But, more specifically, I wish for discovering just that one spiritual gift God has given me. I wonder if amid the chaos and clutter if I will be able to find just one gift from Him and really examine it and figure out how it works? Will I USE it?

I think it is the same priniciple. The Gift Giver has given at least one gift with an intended hope for my blessing as I use what He has given me. And, it is an issue of gratitude and appreciation that He would share with me at all. And , as a mom, I want to give my girls that example of an uncluttered, organized life which reflects God's gifts and uses them with delight and appreciation. I am not worried about my girls not seeing a working mom, but I do worry about them seeing a mom not engaged with what God has gifted me with.

God, please guide me in this challenge, to Your glory and my girls' growth in You.

I find it an interesting commentary on something, that in my first blog adventure--filling out the blogger profile, that my occupation/industry as Homemaker was not an option to choose from. The only industy starting with an H is Human Resources. It is close, I suppose.

I think I am very sheltered from the experience of finding my "industry" overlooked. My work at home and as a stay at home is validated by most in "my world." There is no time to be "put out" about such an omission, just time to smile to myself, silently challenge the assumptions that might have been behind the choice to list only one occupation beginning with an "H", and move right on to gratitude for my husband, my extended family and my church family who validate my choice to stay home.

Thanks, God, for those in my world who esteem my choice, and who prayerfully support me in this terryifying venture of parenting!